When I first started working out last summer, before I suddenly stopped, I felt empowered to keep working out. The story is, before school ended, I had sent my old guitar instructor, also known to my friends as my number one hawtie crush, a letter explaining all of my feelings and why I couldn't learn from him anymore. Point is, he never responded and I moved on. However, mid summer, I had posted photos of my friends and I and he had decided to comment on every single one of them that contained my friends. He would comment saying something like, "YOU'RE so beautiful, so-and-so's name here," never mentioning me.
The whole thing just pissed me off so much, and I was just off of re-cutting and I didn't want to cut again so I did something I never did. I began working out. It relieved so much stress and I just started doing it quite often.
And my freaking gosh, I felt incredible after the pain subsided. I didn't want to cut myself as often, and I was slowly becoming happy. But then I stopped. And it hit me. And this summer I planned to begin working out straight away but never did. I felt ashamed. Especially when my stepfather would make fun of me. Fuck.
See, this is why I don't like talking about my weight. ANYWAYS.
I started working out again. The pain. is. fucking. unbearable.
Peaceee.
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